Remember the Time - Throwback Saturday!

Today, I felt like reaching back and watching a feel-good video. That's why I'm calling this my throwback Saturday.

How many of you remember this video by Michael Jackson? I will never forget the first time I saw it. I wasn't conscious of holding my breath until we were a few seconds in. For me, it truly was breathtaking, and to see so many familiar faces --I loved it! It was like a mini-movie. To our knowledge, this type of thing hadn't really been done before then.

I even Remember the Time that my sister, I, and our girlfriends, tried to get the steps. It was our thing to hang out on a Saturday, shopping, preparing to go to the club; whatever. This time we wanted to have the steps just right, hopefully before anyone else. Silly, huh? We didn't care. We were so excited, we recorded the video. We ran it back and back, time and time again. We stood before the mirror, practicing. It was so much fun. We'd watch the one who did a move just right. Then we'd try it. We'd bump into someone, or occasionally step on a foot. We'd sing along, We would even double over in a fit of laughter. We'd drink something cool, then it was, "Let's do it one more time." That was back in the day. It was what we did. As blossoming young women, we didn't have the adult worries and woes that we do now. We had hope, for the future, for the world, and we had joy. We had youth and smarts on our side.

Watching this video brought some of that joy back. It made me smile. The music made me want to get up and try those steps all over again. When I watched this video, it reminded me of how every day I carry my girls -- who all happen to be formidable women now -- in my heart.

I hope you watch this video. I hope you feel just a bit of what I felt, then and now.

Welcome to my th'owback Saturday, y'all! Thanks for letting me share a memory. You know it's what I sometimes do.

Luh U.

The Best Man Holiday - OMG!

Hello Friends and Fam,

I know it’s been a while. Yet I am so happy to speak with you today. I want you to know that over the holiday weekend, I got the chance to check out a few movies that I'd been longing to see, one of
which was 'The Best Man Holiday.'

Now I must tell you, some are calling this sequel to 1999's movie 'The Best Man' a comedy. However, I would much rather call this 2013 film that was written and directed by Malcolm D, Lee a dramedy. I say so because although it has its comedic moments, The Best Man Holiday brings the drama!

Reprising their roles from the original film were actors Taye Diggs, Nia Log, Terrance Howard, Sanaa Lathan, and Morris Chestnut -- just to name a few. To one and all I'd like to say kudos; a job well done. To director and my fellow writer, Malcolm D. Lee, I'm saying awesome, dude! To you reading this, I want to say, if you enjoyed the first movie, then run, don't walk because you've got to see this one -- and ignore the naysayers. You know how the haters are. They're always around, always spewing negativity, but forget them and just go.

Listen. Once, after reading a book I'd penned, a woman wrote to tell me that she believed my work was  universal. Well I want to say the same thing to Malcolm D Lee. Man, your work is universal. I feel like these characters that he's created could be any nationality, any race, or any ethnic group; yet within any of those parameters, the things that made this film so moving and entertaining would wind up the same. Not only is the movie about the coming together of friends and lovers, but it is truly about the ties that bind. The things that make life worth living.

Friends and family, I also love how the writer/director took a theme (I won't spoil it for you) and deftly wove it into the fabric of this work. I like the way the characters seamlessly carried it throughout.

Those of you who read me often know that some of my readers feel that my characters become 
their friends (in their heads). Well, my darlings I happened to feel that same way while watching Mr. 
Lee's first film 15 years ago. This go 'round I really felt that way again. Without spoiling the plot for
those of you who didn't see the movie yet, I just want to tell you that there are highs and lows
--devastating lows.

And let's discuss that sexy-a_ _  Morris Chestnut. My God, did he do a piece of acting in this film! Back in the day many of us fell in love with Mr. Sexy Chocolate. Yep you remember when he burst onto the screen in the movie ‘Boyz in the Hood.’ But sadly afterward he did a bit of a nose dive. By that I mean in each film thereafter, he never really seemed to become any of the characters he played. The characters always became him. Disappointingly, all viewers could  see was Morris Chestnut. However... in this film he again allowed the character to take center stage. Without being overdone or corny, he went there. Now I dare say that many a viewer has or will fall in love with him all over again.

And speaking of characters, Terrence Howard did his usual. With his flamboyant portrayal of Quentin, the outrageous character that one can't help but like, Terrence often stole scenes from his fellow actors. 

I must mention the ladies too. They were as believable, beautiful,and audacious as they were in the first film. Yet this time around, Monica Calhoun was no shrinking violet. This time she was absolutely formidable as the character Mia. Her heart-felt portrayal of a woman, a wife, a sister-friend, and a mother, who has to make peace with one of the toughest curve balls that life will ever throw one was truly inspiring. As Mia, this actress reminded me of the few things that really matter the most in life. And I ain't ashamed to tell you, most of the scenes with her in them had me dissolving in tears.

Well, my darlings, it's been fun but I've got to run so I'll leave you with this. If you do get the chance to see a few movies this holiday season, do make 'The Best Man Holiday' one of them. Oh, and carry yourself a few Kleenex. If your heart isn't hard, you're gonna need them.

Until we meet again... In all you do, be blessed.

April

Embracing One's Self

Loving one’s body, and mind -- employing self-love is embracing one’s self.  That said; as modern people, we are often bombarded from every side by the media. It hits us with messages that say we are not enough -- not tall enough, or thin enough, not light enough, or tan or bronzed or black enough. The message sometimes is we’re not young, hip, or smart enough either.

Then if that’s not the case,  we may wind up receiving the same  message, but in reverse. We are too much. We are much too loud, too big --we're obese, or we're too old or too boisterous. It can even be suggested that we are much too under -- or over -- qualified. Wow! All of these mixed messages can weigh heavily on a person’s mind, whether or not they know it.

To tell you the truth, all of these mixed messages are the anti-thesis of embracing ourselves. They can even cause many to suffer from the misguided perception that they should become something more or something less. Then due to  this constant bombardment, one might slowly begin to pick themselves apart. They may begin with their skin, or their eye or hair color.

If this is where you find yourself, STOP. Right now. Choose to silence every voice of negativity.

Whenever you look at print ads or any type of media image, remember one thing.
Most of that slick glossy sh—well, that smooth but superficial hype is generated.  When you see a photo of someone who appears unbelievably unflawed, refuse that notion. Remind yourself that it takes teams of people to create the images that sometimes wreak havoc in the minds of real everyday people.

Remember that there are handlers, trainers, photographers, hair and makeup artists, as well as lighting specialists. There are wardrobe people, and stylists -- not to mention the computer whiz-kids who digitally work diligently on the very photos that can leave an everyday viewer’s self-esteem in tatters.

Friends and fam, today I remind you, and myself, that we cannot possibly live up to enviable media images. However, we can embrace ourselves. We can invest in ourselves, in things that will increase our joy, and our self worth. We can also get off the dizzying carousel of frivolous spending. We can keep or attain good credit.

We can choose to be grateful for what we already have, and quit seeking excess. We have our bodies and our minds, which we can nurture. We can offer ourselves more of what we need. If it’s sleep, or water, or healthier food choices, we should do that. If we need to make different or better choices in friends, we can do so. If someone brings us down, lose them -- quickly. Although we can’t pick our family, we can devise methods of dealing with those members whose only goal is to push all our buttons.

We can take time to deeply breathe. We can seek out people and experiences that empower.  And we do not have to prolong encounters with pesky neighbors or acquaintances. We can also choose clothing and footwear that comfortably fits. We can seek moments of contemplation and times for solitude. We can do this to regenerate, re-charge, and re-connect, with ourselves and our God. Then we can do something for someone else.  

My darlings, let us embrace ourselves for the multitude of things that we are, and forget the things that we are not. Look forward , to all that we have yet to become.

In parting, as always, I want you to live blessed. Ah, and today, don’t allow anyone to steal your joy!

April

 

Are you super-duper fine?

Someone is always suggesting we enhance or modify our look or something else about ourselves. Others suggest we change, become, or act like someone or something else. Every season, manufacturers of cosmetics and clothing tell consumers that updating is necessary. However, I wonder, aren’t we already fine as we are? I believe so because it is not what we wear, the things that we acquire, or even the things that we hope for that make us beautiful, and worthy. Who we are -- our inner being -- is what makes us shine. I truly believe that.

I happened to read a book on beauty and in it were lovely photos of women like Jada Pinkett Smith, Pam Grier, Cameron Diaz, and Salma Hayek to name a few. The thirty or so celebrated women in the book were interviewed. Each was asked to give her definition of beauty. Although the answers varied, there was a common thread. Every woman, considered beautiful in her own way, stated that beauty was a belief, a state of mind. Each said in her own unique voice that beauty, to her, was a kind of knowing that causes a woman to glow. 

Many of the women also spoke of the double standard. We often hear that as men age, they look more distinguished. However, as women age, we are bombarded with the idea that we should change. We even receive subliminal messages. They whisper that fine lines and gray hair are unacceptable. It is suggested that we slide under a surgeon’s knife, to correct our ‘flaws.’ In the book though, renowned singer / songwriter Joni Mitchell offered something that caused me to smile. She said that sometimes a surgically altered look nullifies the character in a woman’s face. She said that afterward others can no longer see how the woman has lived, how much she has laughed or cried. I liked that statement the moment I read it! 

Don’t get me wrong. I believe to change one’s look is fine—if that is something a woman has chosen to do. However, I do not believe we should be pressured into anything.  If your skin is supple, or if it has the capability to be, then why not be grateful? If you like your hair, or lack thereof, then you are already fine. If you are a woman who adds extensions, or wears wigs, weaves, colorful scarves, or hats, for whatever your personal reason, then you could already be fine. Do your brown or other colored eyes serve you, and keep you from walking into walls—even if to do so you must wear contact lenses or glasses? Then you too are most likely fine.  

Is your inner woman someone worth knowing? Is she compassionate, or maybe even passionate? Have you taken up a cause? If you believe in something, or if you’re on an eternal quest, is that not something to be proud of? Do you listen well; or maybe you’re the woman who tells fantastic jokes and captivating stories--like me. Maybe you write poetry, or songs, or take fab photos. You might be a momma, a lover -- jilted, or still in. You could be baker, a quilter, a painter, a teacher, a seamstress, a preacher, or even a dreamer… Perhaps you’re the one who figures things out. If you're basically happy with you and if you can achieve then I say you're just fine. If you've done something that you can be proud of, or if you have encouraged someone else to take a leap of faith then you are already fine.

 

If someone loves you, even if it is only your mother, or your cat or dog; if you can clean up nicely, or not; if you can, or cannot recall a time when you’ve looked hot; if you, my lovely, are any of these things and more, then you are quite possibly already fine. So as Billy Joel's song says, 'Don't go changing...'  

Remember, it matters not what others suggest…the choice to enhance or update, to be or not to be is up to you, and you alone, because you are, in my opinion…already super-duper fine.

 

Until next time, shine brightly my darlings, shine brightly!

 

April

 

 

When I've had the day from hell, or when someone just plain annoying has pushed nearly all of my buttons, I put on my sneakers, hit the pavement, and go pound out my mad.

Afterward, I usually wind up huffing and blowing, but by then I am no longer upset. I also realize I've done something great for myself. Whoo-hoo!

Oh--hello; you just got here . . . I was in the midst of talking about how some of us aren't cut out for supersized workouts. Some of us don't want to do Tai-whatever, or Bow-whatnot. Quite frankly, I'm just too laid back for all of that, but I do want the benefits of working out. So I've learned that walking can neatly do the trick. Add a few hand weights and you're set.

To find out why I enjoy walking and would recommend it to anyone healthy enough to do so, click here

For adult summer reading, don't forget to check out my latest -- Improbable. Ah, and thanks for stopping by. I hope to see you again soon!

April Alisa Marquette