The Best Man Holiday - OMG!

Hello Friends and Fam,

I know it’s been a while. Yet I am so happy to speak with you today. I want you to know that over the holiday weekend, I got the chance to check out a few movies that I'd been longing to see, one of
which was 'The Best Man Holiday.'

Now I must tell you, some are calling this sequel to 1999's movie 'The Best Man' a comedy. However, I would much rather call this 2013 film that was written and directed by Malcolm D, Lee a dramedy. I say so because although it has its comedic moments, The Best Man Holiday brings the drama!

Reprising their roles from the original film were actors Taye Diggs, Nia Log, Terrance Howard, Sanaa Lathan, and Morris Chestnut -- just to name a few. To one and all I'd like to say kudos; a job well done. To director and my fellow writer, Malcolm D. Lee, I'm saying awesome, dude! To you reading this, I want to say, if you enjoyed the first movie, then run, don't walk because you've got to see this one -- and ignore the naysayers. You know how the haters are. They're always around, always spewing negativity, but forget them and just go.

Listen. Once, after reading a book I'd penned, a woman wrote to tell me that she believed my work was  universal. Well I want to say the same thing to Malcolm D Lee. Man, your work is universal. I feel like these characters that he's created could be any nationality, any race, or any ethnic group; yet within any of those parameters, the things that made this film so moving and entertaining would wind up the same. Not only is the movie about the coming together of friends and lovers, but it is truly about the ties that bind. The things that make life worth living.

Friends and family, I also love how the writer/director took a theme (I won't spoil it for you) and deftly wove it into the fabric of this work. I like the way the characters seamlessly carried it throughout.

Those of you who read me often know that some of my readers feel that my characters become 
their friends (in their heads). Well, my darlings I happened to feel that same way while watching Mr. 
Lee's first film 15 years ago. This go 'round I really felt that way again. Without spoiling the plot for
those of you who didn't see the movie yet, I just want to tell you that there are highs and lows
--devastating lows.

And let's discuss that sexy-a_ _  Morris Chestnut. My God, did he do a piece of acting in this film! Back in the day many of us fell in love with Mr. Sexy Chocolate. Yep you remember when he burst onto the screen in the movie ‘Boyz in the Hood.’ But sadly afterward he did a bit of a nose dive. By that I mean in each film thereafter, he never really seemed to become any of the characters he played. The characters always became him. Disappointingly, all viewers could  see was Morris Chestnut. However... in this film he again allowed the character to take center stage. Without being overdone or corny, he went there. Now I dare say that many a viewer has or will fall in love with him all over again.

And speaking of characters, Terrence Howard did his usual. With his flamboyant portrayal of Quentin, the outrageous character that one can't help but like, Terrence often stole scenes from his fellow actors. 

I must mention the ladies too. They were as believable, beautiful,and audacious as they were in the first film. Yet this time around, Monica Calhoun was no shrinking violet. This time she was absolutely formidable as the character Mia. Her heart-felt portrayal of a woman, a wife, a sister-friend, and a mother, who has to make peace with one of the toughest curve balls that life will ever throw one was truly inspiring. As Mia, this actress reminded me of the few things that really matter the most in life. And I ain't ashamed to tell you, most of the scenes with her in them had me dissolving in tears.

Well, my darlings, it's been fun but I've got to run so I'll leave you with this. If you do get the chance to see a few movies this holiday season, do make 'The Best Man Holiday' one of them. Oh, and carry yourself a few Kleenex. If your heart isn't hard, you're gonna need them.

Until we meet again... In all you do, be blessed.

April

The Festival of Lights

Hello Friends & Fam,

Please forgive me. I know I've been out of commission for a while. (Taking care of pressing things.) However, I wanted to get back with you. I wanted to do so because we are coming up on the part of the year that I find most exciting. I love it because of the host of celebrations that take place.

One of those celebrations is known as the Festival of Lights, and today I wanted to speak with you about it. The upcoming holiday, also called Diwali is important for Hindus as well as others. During this celebratory time, many families gather together, utilizing traditions passed down for generations. For Jains, Diwali marks the attainment of nirvana, a state of bliss. For Sikhs, it is a five day celebration.

Diwali -- which is also known in Sanskrit as Deepavali-- has traditionally fallen on the one new moon night between mid-October and mid-November. This is according to the Hindu calendar.

I must say I love this festive occasion whose name means ‘row of lamps;’ thus the lighting of small clay lamps called diyas or dīpas. For many people, this holiday is significant because it celebrates the ‘Inner Light,’ the triumph of good over evil. It also celebrates the return of Lord Rama, a Hindu deity revered for his courage and compassion. Diwali celebrates Lord Rama’s wife Sita too, and his brother Lakshmana. This trio returned from Lord Rama’s fourteen-year exile where in a colossal battle he vanquished the demon-king who’d kidnapped his wife. In celebrating his return, Lord Rama’s people lit up the kingdom with diyas, oil lamps…

During this holiday, lights are not only lit to illuminate the homes of believers, but their hearts as well. Believers are encouraged to journey from darkness into light, enabling them to carry out good and sacred deeds. The ones that will get them closer to divinity. Doing so is believed to bring on ananda, joy, or peace, and the awareness of being one with all things.

 

The first day of the festival of lights is called Dhanteras, the day on which most Indian businesses begin their financial year.

Nakara, the second day, marks the vanquishing of the demon Nakarka.

Amavasya, the third day of Diwali centers around  Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth. She fulfills the desires of her devotees.

The fourth day is Kartika Shudda Padyami new kingdom day.

The fifth day Yama Dvitiya is also called Bhai Dooj. On this day sisters invite their brothers to their homes to strengthen family bonds.

A multitude of festivities begin almost a month before Diwali, causing the sales of silk saris, jewelry, ornaments, and household goods to increase. Along with the lighting of innumerable lamps, as well as the bursting of firecrackers -- which is exciting for children, the time for rejoicing is mainly early morning and late night.

The darker hours are preferred as a backdrop in order to highlight the festival’s illuminations. A significant ritual is the necessary visit to the Temple. Traditionally, people also visit the homes of others in their communities where they sing, dance, and offer blessings. Those living elsewhere, contact loved ones back home in India. Many exchange gifts, including words from the heart.

My darlings, I am aware that I have simplified most everything, but to truly understand this most fascinating festival and all that it commemorates, I would suggest you start at your local library. I will tell you though, that Diwali is not just celebrated in India. Due to the vast migration of Indian people, Diwali is no longer just a Hindu festival but it is one now celebrated in Canada, the United Kingdom, and the United States. The sovereign states of Nepal and Guyana, and the island countries of Sri Lanka, Malaysia, and Singapore also celebrate it. In Trinidad and Tobago, and Fiji, Diwali/Deepavali is a major holiday.


I must close now, but I want to say that in commemorating this special time, let us do as revelers do. Why not contact family and friends? Let them know the place they hold in your heart. Ah, and by all means do not forget to celebrate the ‘Inner Light’ -- the triumph of good over evil!

Until next time... be blessed,

April

Embracing One's Self

Loving one’s body, and mind -- employing self-love is embracing one’s self.  That said; as modern people, we are often bombarded from every side by the media. It hits us with messages that say we are not enough -- not tall enough, or thin enough, not light enough, or tan or bronzed or black enough. The message sometimes is we’re not young, hip, or smart enough either.

Then if that’s not the case,  we may wind up receiving the same  message, but in reverse. We are too much. We are much too loud, too big --we're obese, or we're too old or too boisterous. It can even be suggested that we are much too under -- or over -- qualified. Wow! All of these mixed messages can weigh heavily on a person’s mind, whether or not they know it.

To tell you the truth, all of these mixed messages are the anti-thesis of embracing ourselves. They can even cause many to suffer from the misguided perception that they should become something more or something less. Then due to  this constant bombardment, one might slowly begin to pick themselves apart. They may begin with their skin, or their eye or hair color.

If this is where you find yourself, STOP. Right now. Choose to silence every voice of negativity.

Whenever you look at print ads or any type of media image, remember one thing.
Most of that slick glossy sh—well, that smooth but superficial hype is generated.  When you see a photo of someone who appears unbelievably unflawed, refuse that notion. Remind yourself that it takes teams of people to create the images that sometimes wreak havoc in the minds of real everyday people.

Remember that there are handlers, trainers, photographers, hair and makeup artists, as well as lighting specialists. There are wardrobe people, and stylists -- not to mention the computer whiz-kids who digitally work diligently on the very photos that can leave an everyday viewer’s self-esteem in tatters.

Friends and fam, today I remind you, and myself, that we cannot possibly live up to enviable media images. However, we can embrace ourselves. We can invest in ourselves, in things that will increase our joy, and our self worth. We can also get off the dizzying carousel of frivolous spending. We can keep or attain good credit.

We can choose to be grateful for what we already have, and quit seeking excess. We have our bodies and our minds, which we can nurture. We can offer ourselves more of what we need. If it’s sleep, or water, or healthier food choices, we should do that. If we need to make different or better choices in friends, we can do so. If someone brings us down, lose them -- quickly. Although we can’t pick our family, we can devise methods of dealing with those members whose only goal is to push all our buttons.

We can take time to deeply breathe. We can seek out people and experiences that empower.  And we do not have to prolong encounters with pesky neighbors or acquaintances. We can also choose clothing and footwear that comfortably fits. We can seek moments of contemplation and times for solitude. We can do this to regenerate, re-charge, and re-connect, with ourselves and our God. Then we can do something for someone else.  

My darlings, let us embrace ourselves for the multitude of things that we are, and forget the things that we are not. Look forward , to all that we have yet to become.

In parting, as always, I want you to live blessed. Ah, and today, don’t allow anyone to steal your joy!

April

 

How Not To Look Old – I'm Reviewing the book

Written by Charla Krupp, the book  How Not To Look Old is chock full of fast and effortless ways to
look 10 years younger, 10 pounds lighter, and 10 times better -- exactly what it says on the cover. 254 pages, this guide begins with aging gracefully. Not.  

 

Actually, the author speaks candidly about how aging can be a hard pill to swallow. She speaks of how women can discover things that seemingly pop up overnight -- like age spots, crow's feet, chin hair, sagging bazooms, and bunions! But don’t be alarmed, she says we can do something about those things and others. She also states we can look great doing so. 

So there I was, reading about the author’s proposed plan of attack on aging, and becoming more interested by the minute. That was because Charla advises us not to join those poor souls who have had entirely too many surgical procedures. Caught in the author's silken word web, I read that she had even tested goo-gobs of beauty products. Many of them are on prominent magazine's 'best of' lists. However, there was a catch. For the author to recommend any item, it had to deliver results, be easy to use, and not exorbitantly priced. I liked that.

Turning pages, I found that quickly I read all nineteen chapters -- which have great, simple, and often quirky titles like 'Unmatch Your Wardrobe' or 'Follow the Three-Bling Rule...' and I’ve got to tell you, there were times when I just burst out laughing! This author, editor, and motivational guru simply tells it like it is. Without sugarcoating stuff that we all face, she offers the old ways of achieving a look versus the new way -- which is most often her way, but that's okay. 

After finishing the book, I read a review of it and instantly knew those scathing words had been written by someone who was disillusioned. [Bitter was more like it.] The reviewer believed Charla Krupp advised readers to put themselves in categories, low, high, or no maintenance, and then spend accordingly. However, that is not what I took away from this book. I felt the same way another reader/reviewer did, like most of the suggestions offered happen to be things we most likely already know. Still, before reading the book we may not have been putting them into practice.  

For example, ridged, filthy or even discolored fingernails are a no-no. They need care. Like broken and stained teeth, they are not attractive and can diminish aspects of our appearance. Quite simply put, they make us look unprofessional and slovenly – my words. 

My darling beautiful friend,  

if you don't want to wind up looking like an old crone; if you want to laugh, or if you just want a little entertainment and fun while getting some really good tips from someone who has been everywhere in the beauty industry, then read this book. There are a heap of full-color photos -- some of multi-ethnic celebrities. There are anecdotes too. There are size guides, and tips to try. There are suggestions on shopping for just about anything female. So do enjoy.

As many of you who read me know, I always look for the pros as well as the cons. Yet with this book it was all pro. I found nothing that I would change. I simply thank the author and her staff for their time. I mean, to write a book is no simple task. As the author of good fiction I know. [Shameless plug for me, right? Hey, I’ve gotta do it. :) ] Anyway, I thank the author for her time and effort. I thank my library too, for initially loaning the hardcover to me. And now I’m grateful that there was bookseller to sell it to me. Perhaps one day soon you too will thank one or all of these people. 

Well...until next time my darlings, happy reading!

April

Are you super-duper fine?

Someone is always suggesting we enhance or modify our look or something else about ourselves. Others suggest we change, become, or act like someone or something else. Every season, manufacturers of cosmetics and clothing tell consumers that updating is necessary. However, I wonder, aren’t we already fine as we are? I believe so because it is not what we wear, the things that we acquire, or even the things that we hope for that make us beautiful, and worthy. Who we are -- our inner being -- is what makes us shine. I truly believe that.

I happened to read a book on beauty and in it were lovely photos of women like Jada Pinkett Smith, Pam Grier, Cameron Diaz, and Salma Hayek to name a few. The thirty or so celebrated women in the book were interviewed. Each was asked to give her definition of beauty. Although the answers varied, there was a common thread. Every woman, considered beautiful in her own way, stated that beauty was a belief, a state of mind. Each said in her own unique voice that beauty, to her, was a kind of knowing that causes a woman to glow. 

Many of the women also spoke of the double standard. We often hear that as men age, they look more distinguished. However, as women age, we are bombarded with the idea that we should change. We even receive subliminal messages. They whisper that fine lines and gray hair are unacceptable. It is suggested that we slide under a surgeon’s knife, to correct our ‘flaws.’ In the book though, renowned singer / songwriter Joni Mitchell offered something that caused me to smile. She said that sometimes a surgically altered look nullifies the character in a woman’s face. She said that afterward others can no longer see how the woman has lived, how much she has laughed or cried. I liked that statement the moment I read it! 

Don’t get me wrong. I believe to change one’s look is fine—if that is something a woman has chosen to do. However, I do not believe we should be pressured into anything.  If your skin is supple, or if it has the capability to be, then why not be grateful? If you like your hair, or lack thereof, then you are already fine. If you are a woman who adds extensions, or wears wigs, weaves, colorful scarves, or hats, for whatever your personal reason, then you could already be fine. Do your brown or other colored eyes serve you, and keep you from walking into walls—even if to do so you must wear contact lenses or glasses? Then you too are most likely fine.  

Is your inner woman someone worth knowing? Is she compassionate, or maybe even passionate? Have you taken up a cause? If you believe in something, or if you’re on an eternal quest, is that not something to be proud of? Do you listen well; or maybe you’re the woman who tells fantastic jokes and captivating stories--like me. Maybe you write poetry, or songs, or take fab photos. You might be a momma, a lover -- jilted, or still in. You could be baker, a quilter, a painter, a teacher, a seamstress, a preacher, or even a dreamer… Perhaps you’re the one who figures things out. If you're basically happy with you and if you can achieve then I say you're just fine. If you've done something that you can be proud of, or if you have encouraged someone else to take a leap of faith then you are already fine.

 

If someone loves you, even if it is only your mother, or your cat or dog; if you can clean up nicely, or not; if you can, or cannot recall a time when you’ve looked hot; if you, my lovely, are any of these things and more, then you are quite possibly already fine. So as Billy Joel's song says, 'Don't go changing...'  

Remember, it matters not what others suggest…the choice to enhance or update, to be or not to be is up to you, and you alone, because you are, in my opinion…already super-duper fine.

 

Until next time, shine brightly my darlings, shine brightly!

 

April

 

You need the right bra, plain and simple.

Don't be confused, you need the right bra.

Did you know that a bra can be one of the most important pieces in a woman’s shapewear arsenal? Not only does it re-shape but it can even re-size, and this is important because drooping bazooms can make one look slouchy, or old. 

I'm telling you this because I don’t want you to be in the dark.  I'm also saying the right bra can create an enchanting, smooth and youthful silhouette, no matter what your size or age. The right one can cause you to appear pounds thinner, but most of all, wearing the right bra can elevate a woman’s confidence. Then you can go get that job, confidently make the team, or stand before that audience and proudly address the issue at hand.

To read more, click April's Bras Sense...

A few tips on crafting a good story...

As a writer, I've often been asked by other writers, "How do you know when a story is finished?" Well, I know when I have no more questions to answer. Then the tale I'm telling is done. When every issue that was raised in the story has been put to bed, then I know I've done my job.

But how does an author keep track of everything that needs to be covered, one might ask. Well, you could keep an altogether different document that lists points that should be made. Then you could cross off or delete them as they are entered into your work.

Won't that take forever? This may be another question on a writer's mind. Well, it may take a little while, but crafting a good story is not a sprint. It's more a marathon.

But then listing points of interest may change the initial tenor of the story, you might say. I agree. However, that's where edits and re-writes come in. I don't know about others, but I couldn't craft a great story without the twins, Editing and Re-Writing. If made proper use of, they can become an author's greatest friends. They can make a good story so much better. Often they will even add interest, intrigue and suspense. In short, editing and re-writes can turn a story into more than the author initially dreamed.

Also, as writers and authors we must look at our work as our readers will. Readers don't like it when we mention things and then don't clarify them. Therefore, we must make sure to mark and fix those things. Now I don't mean belabor a point, that can become boring. But it would be most unfair to leave the reader hanging --unless, of  course, a sequel is planned. Then that should be stated, clearly.

I feel the only time we can leave a reader hanging is when we're going to revisit a point. Yet even then we must create an atmosphere of suspense, so that the reader will instinctively understand that they are moving forward, toward something.

Below, I'll give you an example of what I mean. It is an excerpt from my latest novel entitled Improbable... It's available online at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Do enjoy, and I look to see you again soon!

—The only thing was...she needed to get him to commit, to her. But how could he, when his mind was always on that slinky, coffee with milk-colored black —girl who needed to move on? What was he doing with her anyway?

Sure, Jeremy had some Negro in him, as Mam-maw, Ashlee’s grandmother called it. But the negroidism was so far back in his family lineage until his genes had probably already rid themselves of the impurity. To Ashlee he sure looked white, and was...he...gorgeous! Ah, and he had been born into wealth, Ashlee remembered. That was most important.

So time to get to work, time to plan, because she had to make her new name, her new tits, her new hair color, and her whitened teeth pay off. She didn’t care what she had to do.

Heck, to get to this point, she had already done so much. She had even endured what she felt was too much. She’d given up her family, and her friends. She’d also left her home, so she was willing to go the distance. At this point, she would readily destroy any ‘obstacle’ that got in her way, and that included Gemma Janelle.

Ashlee felt she would do so because there was no way that she would go back to living in the shadow of the mountains. No freaking way.