Beyond Forty and Fabulous

You too can be beyond forty and fabulous. "What do you mean?" and "How?" You might ask. Well, there once was a time when a woman approaching her late thirties would begin to balk. Why? for the simple fact that she knew that the big 4 0 was looming.

 

Now days though, many women don't succumb to that notion. We realize that our twenties are the years of discovery. During that time we often enter the workforce and begin to carve out our place in the world. Then  the age of thirty and above brings change. We no longer have to  strive so hard to cause people or institutions to take us seriously, perhaps because by this time we've got a few achievements to our credit. Then bam! We're fabulously forty and beyond...

 

These I deem the opportunity years. I say so because by this time, we are complex multi-faceted individuals who resist the notion of getting older and beginning a downward spiral. Conversely, we know that we are getting better. Therefore, it is onward and upward! Often pushing forty, and beyond, we have left mindless frivolity behind. We find ourselves building something -- a  life, a portfolio, perhaps even a legacy. We have been, and have yet to go many places. By this time we are at least willing to think about trying something new, something that may even reside outside our comfort zone.

 

By forty and beyond, we may also have learned another language. Or like a few fab female friends of mine, we may have obtained a license for, and have learned to ride our very own motorcycles. Perhaps we parasail,  mix the perfect drink, or we just might be that sister who gives great party. Beyond forty, we have experienced enough to know ourselves, our likes and dislikes. We know others too; we are no longer naive girls just waiting for someone to 'pull the wool over our eyes.'

 

As women who are beyond forty and fabulous we have learned to trust our instincts, as well as temper our hearts -- we don't get carried away with every whim. We have distinctive tastes, and our own unique sense of style. We have opinions, and we know we don't have to always keep them to ourselves. Beyond forty and fab women are aware that we are oh so sexy and intellectual in tandem. We don't desire to look teenaged or twenty. In fact, the majority of us would not re-take the journey to get here; it was just too hard. However, we can acknowledge that along the way, we achieved and learned priceless things/lessons.

Beyond forty and fabulous women often have tried-and-true skin care regimens. We've got confidence and style. We're young at heart, and in so many ways we are endlessly formidable. In a world, my darlings, we are impressive -- to say the least; think Tyra, Hillary Clinton, Nia Long, Jill Biden, Oprah Winfrey, Ellen Degeneres, Queen Latifah, Selah ward, Halle Berry, Kelly Ripa, Whoopi Goldberg, Diane Sawyer, Alice Walker, Danielle Steele, Robin Roberts, Lisa Ling, Iman, Beverly Johnson, Judy Dench, Roshumba, Sally Field, our late great sage, Maya Angelou... The list is endless!

I don't want men to feel left out. However, I simply happen to be speaking to my ladies right now, but men, we love you just the same. If you happen to be a fab beyond forty woman -- or even a man -- hit me up. Show me some love by giving me a like, or by leaving a comment. Hey, let's show the world, the fabulous beyond forty folk are a nation and not just a fateful few. And since that is the case, I believe advertisers and politicians need to take us into consideration a bit more, because indeed we have enormous buying as well as voting power.

For those of you that have yet to join this wonderful sisterhood, (and brotherhood), just know that all of the above are only a smidgen of what you have to look forward to. In parting, I can truly say what has been said for years: beyond forty truly is fabulous!

I will speak with you soon.

This post is lovingly dedicated to the memory of my fabulous Aunt Kitty.

April

 

Author April Alisa Marquette reads an excerpt from Improbable, Ashlee young

Don't Go Changing the Dance

Hello Friends and Fam,

I know I've been unplugged for a while. Yet I am so happy to be chatting with you again,

so let's jump right in!

As I have written in the past, I try to see the Alvin Ailey Dance Theater – That used to be under the artistic direction of once-dancer par excellent Judith Jamison (below) -- whenever they are in town.

I happen to love this troupe that has performed for over 23 million people in 71 countries on multiple continents. I totally relate to the dances and the music that happens to be rooted in the unique African-American experience.

I also love that while creating his dances, the late great formally trained founder,

Alvin Ailey called forth his memories of the American south. He summoned the universal human experience so aptly expressed in the blues, gospel music, and Negro spirituals. Doing so caused him to create unbelievable works, one of which is his critically acclaimed and most popular, entitled Revelations.

Now don’t get me wrong. The company performs ballet and other dance genres. They also strive to preserve the wholly American modern dance heritage. Now more than ever is this evident. Perhaps it is due Robert Battle, who became the Ailey Dance Theater’s Artistic Director in 2011.

I must say this year, there was a distinct difference. In the past, while watching the performers, whose ethnicities widely vary, I felt powerfully moved, and stirred. I even thought about the origins of African Dance. However, there have been subtle changes which caused myself and others who attended to question whether or not the Dance Theater is moving away from the traditional, to become more mainstream.

To me ‘more mainstream’ like portions of the 2014 show are overkill. I mean who can’t turn on their TV or tune in to YouTube to watch modern dance on any number of platforms? For me what made the Ailey experience one that I looked forward to each year was the fact that the dance troupe reminded us that African dance has always played a vital role in the lives of tribal people. Dance was used in everyday life. It was significant in religious rituals too; it was used to request success from the supernatural, and to deter danger. Dance was and still is used to express emotion, and to celebrate life’s milestones.

I know that other ethnicities use dance in similar manners. 

However African dancers do what some others do not. 

They use their body’s different centers to create complex movements; 

whereas in parts of the world dancers simply move the body as a whole.

I love the isolation that African dance employs, which causes different areas of the body to rhythmically move while creating a breathtaking whole. I love the mood, set by the drum, the beat -- the actual steady heartbeat of the dance. The drum and the beat were carried to the new world when the enslavement of Africans began, in the 15 and 1600’s. In Spain, the Caribbean, and in the Americas, dance and the drumbeat were used to keep the African’s cultural connection with his and her homeland alive. However, in North America this became prohibited. Yet despite the oft times degrading harshness of their new existence, the African found a way to allow his and her spirit to occasionally soar.

My ancestors did so through beautiful transcendent dance. They allowed their moves, and their bodies -- unlike their souls and their dreams -- to adapt. Instead of lifting the feet, as prohibited, the hips took over, and the feet were slid or shuffled, as the rest of the body continued to undulate to the beat.

This type of dance is a powerful thing to watch. Not only does it speak to those of African descent, it simply speaks…to humans no matter their race, or ethnicity. This is evidenced by the millions, who like me; flock to see the Ailey Dance Theater. This is also evidenced by the dances that we see throughout the world, innumerable dances that have been Afro-Rhythmically inspired. As an African-American, I am proud to say: beautiful dance – African dance, and ethnic dance -- will forever live on. I simply hope it will do so in the performances of the Dance Theater that was founded by Alvin Ailey, the creative genius now gone who also believed in African-inspired dance.

As a longtime patron of the arts I have one thing to say. I plainly say to the present and future Artistic Directors who will helm this TRADITIONAL dance troupe, REMEMBER OUR ROOTS!

To see the beauty of the Alvin Ailey Dance Theater click here. And be sure to see them when they visit a town near you!

To read another's point of view regarding Ailey, click here.

The Best Man Holiday - OMG!

Hello Friends and Fam,

I know it’s been a while. Yet I am so happy to speak with you today. I want you to know that over the holiday weekend, I got the chance to check out a few movies that I'd been longing to see, one of
which was 'The Best Man Holiday.'

Now I must tell you, some are calling this sequel to 1999's movie 'The Best Man' a comedy. However, I would much rather call this 2013 film that was written and directed by Malcolm D, Lee a dramedy. I say so because although it has its comedic moments, The Best Man Holiday brings the drama!

Reprising their roles from the original film were actors Taye Diggs, Nia Log, Terrance Howard, Sanaa Lathan, and Morris Chestnut -- just to name a few. To one and all I'd like to say kudos; a job well done. To director and my fellow writer, Malcolm D. Lee, I'm saying awesome, dude! To you reading this, I want to say, if you enjoyed the first movie, then run, don't walk because you've got to see this one -- and ignore the naysayers. You know how the haters are. They're always around, always spewing negativity, but forget them and just go.

Listen. Once, after reading a book I'd penned, a woman wrote to tell me that she believed my work was  universal. Well I want to say the same thing to Malcolm D Lee. Man, your work is universal. I feel like these characters that he's created could be any nationality, any race, or any ethnic group; yet within any of those parameters, the things that made this film so moving and entertaining would wind up the same. Not only is the movie about the coming together of friends and lovers, but it is truly about the ties that bind. The things that make life worth living.

Friends and family, I also love how the writer/director took a theme (I won't spoil it for you) and deftly wove it into the fabric of this work. I like the way the characters seamlessly carried it throughout.

Those of you who read me often know that some of my readers feel that my characters become 
their friends (in their heads). Well, my darlings I happened to feel that same way while watching Mr. 
Lee's first film 15 years ago. This go 'round I really felt that way again. Without spoiling the plot for
those of you who didn't see the movie yet, I just want to tell you that there are highs and lows
--devastating lows.

And let's discuss that sexy-a_ _  Morris Chestnut. My God, did he do a piece of acting in this film! Back in the day many of us fell in love with Mr. Sexy Chocolate. Yep you remember when he burst onto the screen in the movie ‘Boyz in the Hood.’ But sadly afterward he did a bit of a nose dive. By that I mean in each film thereafter, he never really seemed to become any of the characters he played. The characters always became him. Disappointingly, all viewers could  see was Morris Chestnut. However... in this film he again allowed the character to take center stage. Without being overdone or corny, he went there. Now I dare say that many a viewer has or will fall in love with him all over again.

And speaking of characters, Terrence Howard did his usual. With his flamboyant portrayal of Quentin, the outrageous character that one can't help but like, Terrence often stole scenes from his fellow actors. 

I must mention the ladies too. They were as believable, beautiful,and audacious as they were in the first film. Yet this time around, Monica Calhoun was no shrinking violet. This time she was absolutely formidable as the character Mia. Her heart-felt portrayal of a woman, a wife, a sister-friend, and a mother, who has to make peace with one of the toughest curve balls that life will ever throw one was truly inspiring. As Mia, this actress reminded me of the few things that really matter the most in life. And I ain't ashamed to tell you, most of the scenes with her in them had me dissolving in tears.

Well, my darlings, it's been fun but I've got to run so I'll leave you with this. If you do get the chance to see a few movies this holiday season, do make 'The Best Man Holiday' one of them. Oh, and carry yourself a few Kleenex. If your heart isn't hard, you're gonna need them.

Until we meet again... In all you do, be blessed.

April

The Festival of Lights

Hello Friends & Fam,

Please forgive me. I know I've been out of commission for a while. (Taking care of pressing things.) However, I wanted to get back with you. I wanted to do so because we are coming up on the part of the year that I find most exciting. I love it because of the host of celebrations that take place.

One of those celebrations is known as the Festival of Lights, and today I wanted to speak with you about it. The upcoming holiday, also called Diwali is important for Hindus as well as others. During this celebratory time, many families gather together, utilizing traditions passed down for generations. For Jains, Diwali marks the attainment of nirvana, a state of bliss. For Sikhs, it is a five day celebration.

Diwali -- which is also known in Sanskrit as Deepavali-- has traditionally fallen on the one new moon night between mid-October and mid-November. This is according to the Hindu calendar.

I must say I love this festive occasion whose name means ‘row of lamps;’ thus the lighting of small clay lamps called diyas or dīpas. For many people, this holiday is significant because it celebrates the ‘Inner Light,’ the triumph of good over evil. It also celebrates the return of Lord Rama, a Hindu deity revered for his courage and compassion. Diwali celebrates Lord Rama’s wife Sita too, and his brother Lakshmana. This trio returned from Lord Rama’s fourteen-year exile where in a colossal battle he vanquished the demon-king who’d kidnapped his wife. In celebrating his return, Lord Rama’s people lit up the kingdom with diyas, oil lamps…

During this holiday, lights are not only lit to illuminate the homes of believers, but their hearts as well. Believers are encouraged to journey from darkness into light, enabling them to carry out good and sacred deeds. The ones that will get them closer to divinity. Doing so is believed to bring on ananda, joy, or peace, and the awareness of being one with all things.

 

The first day of the festival of lights is called Dhanteras, the day on which most Indian businesses begin their financial year.

Nakara, the second day, marks the vanquishing of the demon Nakarka.

Amavasya, the third day of Diwali centers around  Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth. She fulfills the desires of her devotees.

The fourth day is Kartika Shudda Padyami new kingdom day.

The fifth day Yama Dvitiya is also called Bhai Dooj. On this day sisters invite their brothers to their homes to strengthen family bonds.

A multitude of festivities begin almost a month before Diwali, causing the sales of silk saris, jewelry, ornaments, and household goods to increase. Along with the lighting of innumerable lamps, as well as the bursting of firecrackers -- which is exciting for children, the time for rejoicing is mainly early morning and late night.

The darker hours are preferred as a backdrop in order to highlight the festival’s illuminations. A significant ritual is the necessary visit to the Temple. Traditionally, people also visit the homes of others in their communities where they sing, dance, and offer blessings. Those living elsewhere, contact loved ones back home in India. Many exchange gifts, including words from the heart.

My darlings, I am aware that I have simplified most everything, but to truly understand this most fascinating festival and all that it commemorates, I would suggest you start at your local library. I will tell you though, that Diwali is not just celebrated in India. Due to the vast migration of Indian people, Diwali is no longer just a Hindu festival but it is one now celebrated in Canada, the United Kingdom, and the United States. The sovereign states of Nepal and Guyana, and the island countries of Sri Lanka, Malaysia, and Singapore also celebrate it. In Trinidad and Tobago, and Fiji, Diwali/Deepavali is a major holiday.


I must close now, but I want to say that in commemorating this special time, let us do as revelers do. Why not contact family and friends? Let them know the place they hold in your heart. Ah, and by all means do not forget to celebrate the ‘Inner Light’ -- the triumph of good over evil!

Until next time... be blessed,

April

Embracing One's Self

Loving one’s body, and mind -- employing self-love is embracing one’s self.  That said; as modern people, we are often bombarded from every side by the media. It hits us with messages that say we are not enough -- not tall enough, or thin enough, not light enough, or tan or bronzed or black enough. The message sometimes is we’re not young, hip, or smart enough either.

Then if that’s not the case,  we may wind up receiving the same  message, but in reverse. We are too much. We are much too loud, too big --we're obese, or we're too old or too boisterous. It can even be suggested that we are much too under -- or over -- qualified. Wow! All of these mixed messages can weigh heavily on a person’s mind, whether or not they know it.

To tell you the truth, all of these mixed messages are the anti-thesis of embracing ourselves. They can even cause many to suffer from the misguided perception that they should become something more or something less. Then due to  this constant bombardment, one might slowly begin to pick themselves apart. They may begin with their skin, or their eye or hair color.

If this is where you find yourself, STOP. Right now. Choose to silence every voice of negativity.

Whenever you look at print ads or any type of media image, remember one thing.
Most of that slick glossy sh—well, that smooth but superficial hype is generated.  When you see a photo of someone who appears unbelievably unflawed, refuse that notion. Remind yourself that it takes teams of people to create the images that sometimes wreak havoc in the minds of real everyday people.

Remember that there are handlers, trainers, photographers, hair and makeup artists, as well as lighting specialists. There are wardrobe people, and stylists -- not to mention the computer whiz-kids who digitally work diligently on the very photos that can leave an everyday viewer’s self-esteem in tatters.

Friends and fam, today I remind you, and myself, that we cannot possibly live up to enviable media images. However, we can embrace ourselves. We can invest in ourselves, in things that will increase our joy, and our self worth. We can also get off the dizzying carousel of frivolous spending. We can keep or attain good credit.

We can choose to be grateful for what we already have, and quit seeking excess. We have our bodies and our minds, which we can nurture. We can offer ourselves more of what we need. If it’s sleep, or water, or healthier food choices, we should do that. If we need to make different or better choices in friends, we can do so. If someone brings us down, lose them -- quickly. Although we can’t pick our family, we can devise methods of dealing with those members whose only goal is to push all our buttons.

We can take time to deeply breathe. We can seek out people and experiences that empower.  And we do not have to prolong encounters with pesky neighbors or acquaintances. We can also choose clothing and footwear that comfortably fits. We can seek moments of contemplation and times for solitude. We can do this to regenerate, re-charge, and re-connect, with ourselves and our God. Then we can do something for someone else.  

My darlings, let us embrace ourselves for the multitude of things that we are, and forget the things that we are not. Look forward , to all that we have yet to become.

In parting, as always, I want you to live blessed. Ah, and today, don’t allow anyone to steal your joy!

April

 

How Not To Look Old – I'm Reviewing the book

Written by Charla Krupp, the book  How Not To Look Old is chock full of fast and effortless ways to
look 10 years younger, 10 pounds lighter, and 10 times better -- exactly what it says on the cover. 254 pages, this guide begins with aging gracefully. Not.  

 

Actually, the author speaks candidly about how aging can be a hard pill to swallow. She speaks of how women can discover things that seemingly pop up overnight -- like age spots, crow's feet, chin hair, sagging bazooms, and bunions! But don’t be alarmed, she says we can do something about those things and others. She also states we can look great doing so. 

So there I was, reading about the author’s proposed plan of attack on aging, and becoming more interested by the minute. That was because Charla advises us not to join those poor souls who have had entirely too many surgical procedures. Caught in the author's silken word web, I read that she had even tested goo-gobs of beauty products. Many of them are on prominent magazine's 'best of' lists. However, there was a catch. For the author to recommend any item, it had to deliver results, be easy to use, and not exorbitantly priced. I liked that.

Turning pages, I found that quickly I read all nineteen chapters -- which have great, simple, and often quirky titles like 'Unmatch Your Wardrobe' or 'Follow the Three-Bling Rule...' and I’ve got to tell you, there were times when I just burst out laughing! This author, editor, and motivational guru simply tells it like it is. Without sugarcoating stuff that we all face, she offers the old ways of achieving a look versus the new way -- which is most often her way, but that's okay. 

After finishing the book, I read a review of it and instantly knew those scathing words had been written by someone who was disillusioned. [Bitter was more like it.] The reviewer believed Charla Krupp advised readers to put themselves in categories, low, high, or no maintenance, and then spend accordingly. However, that is not what I took away from this book. I felt the same way another reader/reviewer did, like most of the suggestions offered happen to be things we most likely already know. Still, before reading the book we may not have been putting them into practice.  

For example, ridged, filthy or even discolored fingernails are a no-no. They need care. Like broken and stained teeth, they are not attractive and can diminish aspects of our appearance. Quite simply put, they make us look unprofessional and slovenly – my words. 

My darling beautiful friend,  

if you don't want to wind up looking like an old crone; if you want to laugh, or if you just want a little entertainment and fun while getting some really good tips from someone who has been everywhere in the beauty industry, then read this book. There are a heap of full-color photos -- some of multi-ethnic celebrities. There are anecdotes too. There are size guides, and tips to try. There are suggestions on shopping for just about anything female. So do enjoy.

As many of you who read me know, I always look for the pros as well as the cons. Yet with this book it was all pro. I found nothing that I would change. I simply thank the author and her staff for their time. I mean, to write a book is no simple task. As the author of good fiction I know. [Shameless plug for me, right? Hey, I’ve gotta do it. :) ] Anyway, I thank the author for her time and effort. I thank my library too, for initially loaning the hardcover to me. And now I’m grateful that there was bookseller to sell it to me. Perhaps one day soon you too will thank one or all of these people. 

Well...until next time my darlings, happy reading!

April